We have all been in a trust exercise at some point in our lives.  The boss of your latest employment gathers your coworkers, or the RA your freshman year of college gathered your fellow undergrads.  They talk of how trust is so essential in the functionality of your “team” – and whether that is in selling medical supplies, or being a cohesive unit of giggling sorority sisters, trust is key.

You line up in groups of two, stand with your back facing your partners front, and while keeping your eyes closed, you are asked to drop back into their arms.  If you trust your teammate, you merely drop safely into a comfortable embrace.  But if you do not trust them, you stagger backwards, stepping towards them.  And if they don’t trust themselves to catch you, you go crashing into the floor.

So with trust, you get a warm embrace.  And with lack of trust, you go smacking into the cold, hard ground.

I find this exercise, and the outcomes that it induces, so comparable to my riding. If I trust my horse, and he trusts me, we win.  We go stride for stride in sync, with cues and aids so seamless that the people surrounding us have no idea why he is suddenly soaring over a fence, or half passing to centerline.

Without trust, we lose this cohesiveness. We lose the symmetry.  The respect.  The response.

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Trust Exercises.  Photo by Amy Bumpaous.

This is so apparent to me, and because of that, I put my horses through trust exercises quite often.  With Nixon, it is a hack on a loose rein, with my feet out of the stirrups and my mind wandering.  I trust Nixon to an extent, although that trust is growing exponentially as he further settles into his routine as a sport horse.  He has never offered a buck, rear, or spook, and I have begun to realize that the only direction that this horse is going to go is simply forward.  It might be at breathtaking, death defying speeds, but the only way with Nixon is forward.

But with Mak, I can take it a few steps even father. I trust this horse with every fiber of my being, because he has never given me a reason not to.  I got Mak off of the track at the young age of four, and even then he was more whoa than go. He was happiest on the buckle, loping along a field.  He was so quiet, so simple, and so brave that I thought he was actually sedated.  And had I not gotten him from a friend, I would have pulled bloodwork to determine exactly that.

But alas, that was just Mak. He was, quite simply, easy.

With Mak, I know that I can trust him to pack a friend around a XC course after they have taken a considerable break from riding.  I know that I can teach an up-down lesson, or pop someone over their first vertical.  I can put a nervous friend in the middle of a field and have a herd of cattle chase her, because I know that he won’t put a foot wrong. He will compete in the 1.0m jumpers one week, and take a 4 year old for their first ride the next.

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He never puts a foot wrong.

Why have I always trusted Mak?  Because I know that he trusts me.  I have tried so hard to never overface him.  To never put a fence in front of him that he cannot jump, or a question that he cannot read.  I moved him up the levels slower than most, and by the time we were ready to go training level, my friends were exasperated by my nerves – deeming me the most ready person to ever take the leap. And the minute we took that leap, Mak caught me, and guided me along to safety.

And with Mak, at the end of a bad week of rides, when I am frustrated and confused by our lack of understanding, I have learned that a trust exercise is the key to finding a solution.

I know that all I need to do is take off my stirrups, or take off his bridle, and let myself fall back into his safe embrace.  Just like the trust exercises of freshman year, I have to let my guard down to ever realize the true relationship that we have.  I have to close my eyes, relax my aids, and pray that he catches me.

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Complete trust 

And with Mak, the minute that I do these things, he becomes the best partner to have. Because Mak has never not caught me.

We have now soared over great heights bridleless, including a XC school.  I have galloped him at his greatest speeds over fields without a saddle.  And at the end of the day, my best dressage schools are when I drop my stirrups, realx my body, stop trying so hard, and let him prove his training.

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Our best dressage work is usually without stirrups…

People question this behavior of mine.  Every time that I put a picture or video of Mak and I having one of “those days”, I am bombarded with comments of how and why I do this.  How can I trust a horse to not take advantage of not having a bridle?  Why would I let him jump around without a saddle?

What if he takes off?  What if he spooks?  What if he becomes a crazed rodeo bronc?

Or gasp, what if you’re not perfect?

It all comes down to one thing – trust.  And a great horse who deserves the trust. It can make or break a relationship.  Whether it is between you and your boyfriend, your roommate, or your coworker, trust is key.  And without trust you will never grow in that relationship.

So go out there and get on.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone.  And every once in a while, try one of those trust exercises with your mount.  I can almost guarantee that the horse you love will catch you before you fall.

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3 Comments on “A relationship built on trust…

  1. It’s also temperament for me- at the height of his training, my now-retired jumper would pack me around 3′, happily pack someone around 2′, but I could never put a total beginner on him because when he spooks, he SPOOKS. I guess, though, I could always trust him to spook, and knew how he would spook almost before he did!

    Current mare and I are still figuring out our trust- I trust her to jump from any distance, but don’t trust her to not bolt on the other side. She trusts me to get out of her way, but doesn’t trust me to help her to the base. (And this one was an ex-therapeutic riding horse!)

  2. I love thoroughbred greenies! I get them @ about 3 years of age, when they’ve been sat on, but no real training. I always get a youngster with a calm temperament. I’ve brought along maybe 24 over the last 45 years, one at a time, to sell as hunters. But I go SO slowly. From day one I put them around all sorts of scary stuff; first they learn they must obey me and do what I’m asking, then they realize they came out of it alive! That’s where the trust starts, for me. I keep jumps low (but quite often weird) and they think they can do anything. The confidence in themselves and in me builds slowly, ride by ride. It IS a matter of trust! And when they trust me, I know I can trust them.
    P.S. I changed to eventing for a few years, and that trust REALLY comes in handy over unfamiliar cross country fences/ditches, etc.

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